An Error Corrected, or Aniseed

Okay, I know you expect pretentious upper-class twit from me but I need a moment here.

Fucking. Aniseed. Balls.

I’ve been eating them all day. They are, quite simply, the most delicious sweets on the planet but Hannah always does her best to keep them out of my reach, since I’m allergic to aniseed (a fairly rare condition). I probably shouldn’t be eating these but, honestly, most of the flavour is artifical, I’m just getting itchy lips.

On the topic of Hannah, I have to take a minute here to rectify something I said earlier which wasn’t fair to her. She doesn’t visit me for an hour every day. She is paid to visit me for an hour every day. She spends much longer here, talking to me, making me tea, what have you. She is, as the Irish like to say, a dote. I’d be a madman today if not for her companionship. I just wanted to clarify that. Give her role in my life a bit of justice.


6 comments on “An Error Corrected, or Aniseed

  1. Kiera says:

    I’ve got a bit of a reputation for being a coldhearted bitch who hates everyone but… you seem pretty alright.

    You’ve got your shit together, even if you’ve lost everything and are a bit of a cripple. You know your life, who you are, how to handle things… You know how to show these fuck-ups who’ve fallen into this mess the ropes…

    If only there were more men like you out there instead of all these little boy, maybe we’d actually stand a fucking chance.

    • I am thoroughly flattered to received the approval of as charming and lovely a young lady as your good self. I can only hope to live up to the expectations of such an illustrious and intelligent woman. May I say that you seem like one of the few young people caught up in this mess who seems to have her head on the right way. While your comments can be rather acerbic, it’s exactly what these youngsters need; an acid-tongued woman spitting poison is the only thing that can smooth out their rough edges. I applaud your work and hope to see more of it, and you, in the future.

      • Kiera says:

        Oh my, and well-spoken to boot. You’re the first man who managed to not fuck up and actually impress me with a proper compliment in a very long time.

        I believe, Marcus, that you and I are going to get along very, very well.

      • I live to please, and to serve, of course. I sincerely hope we get along as well as you believe, Kiera, because I can tell you are certainly someone I’d like to get to know.

  2. Mankind is often attracted to that which hurts him…I had aniseed balls once. Didn’t like them too much, but then again I had food poisoning at the time.

  3. ENVY says:

    I once met someone who was allergic to shrimp, and when offered them, he’d gorge on them.

    He died.

    I can’t say I’ve tried aniseed balls, but I have tried Aniseed Fisherman’s Friend, which was quite nice.

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