Atlas

I asked Marcus if I could post something about myself here and he gave me the go-ahead. However, I was lying out my ass about what I wanted to post about, so he might rescind my posting privileges after this post.

Marcus has been extremely withdrawn and depressed since Doc Cairo was here. He hasn’t touched the laptop at all, hasn’t done any research, hasn’t communicated with anyone but me (and even then, sparingly). I’m really worried, he usually at least attempts to put on a brave, arrogant face but now…I don’t think I’ve ever actually seen Marcus genuinely upset before. It’s kind of heartbreaking, to be honest. Everything he’s ever had has been broken, including his facade.

A Doctor Calls

On Tuesday, I received a visit from the illustrious Dr. Cairo Zelphest, proprietor of the compileTRUTH vlog. The result of that visit was this interview. You may listen to my disgusting, hodge-podge accent at your own peril (you can only spend so many years running across the world before your New England accent fades into distant memory). I won’t be providing a transcript as the entire point of the interview was that I wasn’t able to do justice in writing to what I wanted to talk about. Suffice to say, I have one more regret off my chest, not that it makes the regret hurt less.

I instructed Hannah to arrange whatever flight Dr. Cairo wanted to whatever location he wanted and to charge it to my credit card. It’s the least I can do for the help he has given me. I wish him all the best in the future.

A More Welcome Visitor

I’m almost ready to get back to work. I’m just waiting on a visit from another doctor, a very special kind of specialist.

In the meantime, I’d like to clarify something. Some of you may have guessed, based on that page that Hannah discovered, that I’ve been researching something to do with Germany. You’re right, I have been and I shouldn’t have bothered. It’s worthless. A dead end. It’s of no value, earthly or non. So don’t bother trying to glean whatever mysteries lie in the page that Hannah found. There are no mysteries to find. There are no mysteries at all.

Question and Answer

After finally taking the time to read over what happened in my absence, I came to the post about Benjamin. Hannah was gone out for a drive, so she didn’t hear my roar of outrage. Just the idea of that pathetic worm of a man daring to even approach my home makes me angry, but knowing that he came into my house while I was in a coma is truly nauseating. After reading the post, my first instinct was to call Hannah but I reconsidered; what help would she be in figuring out what Benjamin was doing?

So, instead, I called Winston and got him to call Benjamin, because I’m a petty old man who won’t talk to the old friends he fell out with. After a telecommunications relay race, I got the answer I was looking for; Benjamin doesn’t think I’m going to last more than a month and a half and he wanted to say a final goodbye but knew if I saw him in person, I’d probably take out a handgun and shoot him, so he took advantage of my unconsciousness to do the deed. As to why Benjamin thinks I’m at the end of the tether, I have no idea but I don’t think he’s wrong.

In other, less exciting news, I decided to change the blog’s theme so you can tell who’s posting, since the old theme didn’t actually indicate either way.

Promotion

Marcus told me to inform you that, from now on, I have my own account here. I guess he wants me to keep posting but when I asked him if I could post whenever I want, he said “Over my dead body”, so I suppose he wants me to run it by him first. Whatever, I can deal. Anyway, yeah, that’s all I had to say, really.

Ritornello

I’ve been a fool. I’ve allowed myself to be toyed with. I’ve let even more of my life fall to the Tree Walker’s tortuous advance.  I had a second chance at love and let it slip through my fingers. I let my only friend and companion in the world get sucked into the twisted nightmare that is my life.

This is no dramatic return. I have woken up more broken and defeated than ever before. This is a small return from an incredibly small man. I’m back, unfortunately.

Remembrance

Guess who remembered to take a photo of that weird page from Marcus’s study?

In other news, Marcus is still regularly talking and shouting in his sleep. I have a feeling he’ll be doing a lot of both when he finds out I let Benjamin in.

Darkfall

Some days you feel like a cloud has fallen over your mind. You just don’t feel motivated to do anything. Some days all you can do is sit in a chair and watch the sky move. Some days all you can do is watch the sun rise and then wait for the dark to fall.

Marcus is about the same as he was the last time I updated.

Shining Through

Marcus was talking in his sleep (for want of a better word) again. It was mostly gibberish but three little phrases kept popping up; “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to”, “He is waiting for me” and “My Kiera”. The first is as creepy as ever but I’m going to take a wild guess and say he was talking to someone he feels he has wronged in his dreams. The second one is twice as creepy as the first but not exactly shocking stuff given that the Tree Walker has been hunting Marcus for almost two decades. The third, however, was just heartbreaking. Goddammit, Marcus. Why did you have to go and let yourself fall in love again? You knew it couldn’t end well for anyone and, when you wake up, I’m going to have to watch your heart break again.

Loss

Life is a series of competitions. Every day brings another challenge to challenge, another contest to contest, another struggle to struggle through. And yet, in the end, everyone loses the final staring contest with death. We always blink first.

I lost my father a few months ago. His final game was a long campaign of extended warfare against that persistnent and ubiquitous minion of death called cancer. In the end, though, even his great war came down to a staring contest with the opposing commander. He blinked first.

Marcus played a game once. It was a game of survival and he was frustratingly good at it, so death lashed out at those who were near him. Now, though he’d never admit it, Marcus spends his days waiting for the black stranger to show up for one final game. It will be a staring contest. He will blink first.

Dying is a long, drawn-out process but death happens in the blink of an eye. In the end, it all comes down to a final staring contest with death. But that begs the question…

…what happens to a man who is as faceless as death itself?