Aria pour Émilie

I didn’t particularly want to but I felt it necessary to tell Emily about Arkham last night, just after her late evening book reading. She’s too intelligent for me to just tell her not to answer the door to any strange men – if I hadn’t told her, she would have picked up that there was a specific strange man I was worried about. So I told her that he was coming for me and that he might try to get to me through her, so she had to be on guard. She’s only started responding a little so far, so all I got was a nod but that’s enough for now.

I’m not going to talk about any of the other preparations I’ve been making as I don’t want Arkham knowing in advance. Sufficed to say though, I’ll be ready for him when he comes. He will fall.

The Lamb and the Dragon

Valerie spent these past few days interacting with and observing Emily. I tried to stay out of her way as much as possible, which was kind of hard considering she cried in her room every night. She came to me today with her conclusions.

She reckons that Emily has a case of PTSD, almost like a shell-shocked solider but not quite as severe. She’s silent because she’s trying to comprehend everything that’s happening inside her head and has neither the energy nor interest to interact with the outside world beyond what she needs to keep living. However, Valerie says she was able to get a reaction from what she calls dialogic reading, where one reads while passing comment and asking comments from the other person involved in the dialogue. She didn’t get any words, just the occasional nod or shake of the head, but reckons that if I keep up the exercise at routine times throughout the day, I should start getting more reactions from her.

Valerie has already moved on but she’s definitely validated my faith in her and I wish her the best. Meanwhile, I got a phone call.

A: I hear you’re looking for me, Benji. Did I leave you heartbroken?

B: Sure, Arkham, let’s call it that. What do you want?

A: Wrong question, Benji. The real question is what do you want?

B: You gone.

A: Excellent. Now I know exactly what to deny you to get where I want to go.

B: Fuck you. You aren’t going anywhere. I’ve already dealt with one psycho, you’ve got a lot less going for you than Winston did

A: But you know you can’t deal with me, Benjamin. You act like it’s not true but, as your mind degrades, your certainty in reality is slipping. You’re starting to come around to my way of thinking. And in this world of his, if I die, I’ll just end up coming back again and again. I know the nature of this world. I’m too much of a threat to be allowed up there.

B: If you’re right about me, and you’re not, it doesn’t exactly provide a stunning endorsement. As the mind gets closer to falling apart, it gets closer to yours, is that it?

A: …I’m coming for you.

Silence.

White Soul

Today, I got my outside help. Well, the person giving the help arrived anyway, but she was injured and not in the right kind of state to be doing psych work with a child. I’m hoping she can give the help itself tomorrow. She being a prominent runner who is semi-qualified in psychology, Valerie Simmons of the blog I Am Stardust, better known as Hakurei Ryuu.

When I stopped to think of someone I trusted who could actually potentially be of help to Emily, she was the first person who jumped to mind, so I got into contact with her and she agreed to come by today. I was banking on her youth and gift for reading emotions being dealbreakers with Emily. Actually, I’m still banking on it but I won’t get to see if I’m right until tomorrow, as she turned up today having picked up a blood-soaked shoulder and some other extraneous injuries along the way. The shoulder wasn’t as bad as it looked but it needed some cleaning up and I forced Valerie to rest herself afterwards, just in case. No comments from Emily on this turn of events.

I hope she can make some progress tomorrow.

A Minor Place

She hasn’t said a word in three weeks apart from asking for food. She doesn’t respond to me or even acknowledge my existence. At first, it was understandable. Then, it became frustrating. Now, it’s scaring me. I’m worried about what’s going on in that head of hers and I’m only good with brains, not minds, especially not children’s. I’ve asked someone I think I can trust to come have a look at her. She should be arriving tomorrow.

Minding Emily

I’m worried about her. I mean, I haven’t had tonnes of experience with children, or even people in general, but her quietness just seems unnatural. She’s even stopped crying. Now she only talks in reference to eating. She’s doing nothing but the basic necessities of life. She doesn’t talk, she doesn’t read, she doesn’t watch TV or listen to music. The only thing she does is lie in bed and amble aimlessly around the house.

It can’t be healthy but I don’t know what to do about it or even if I should do anything. The mind and the body both have a tendency to heal themselves but relying on that can’t be an option when I’m talking about the mental health of a child. That’s a risk I’m not willing to take.

What should I do? Do I bring in outside help? She doesn’t respond when I try talking to her. I’m at a loss here.